the A is not a simple article but an adjective meaning the top level.
i wasn't, don't and will never know who she is.
it was a coincidence to get in touch with her. some years ago, i wrote a short message and sent sb. unknown for mistake. a moment later, a reply came. then i sent a few words for apology. all over. that was all that happened that day.
this incident came to an end. i forgot it very soon. i just did myself as usual----getting up, attending classes, eating meals, going to bed----doing the daily routine.
a few months went by. one day i had a real failure in an easy experiment. frustrated and desperate, i was down to the hell. i needed someone to comfort me, to cheer me up, to point out a way to a better life. but i didn't want friends to know how fragile i was. then she came into my mind. i didn't know her and neither did she. we were totally exactly completely absolutely strangers, never coming across in the real life. yes, she was the very outlet for my bad feelings. i could show my weak points and the darkness in my heart. even if she regarded me as a psychologically abnormal person, she wouldn't know me. yes, i could open up to her. i did so, and God blessed me. she answered me in a quite soft way. i even had the instinct that my experience had found an echo in her heart. only a few words. but that was enough to comfort me. anyway, i managed to collect some courage to go on. i really appreciated her.
another day, she sent a message in a sudden, telling me that she was confused in the process of going after her dream. i searched my head for a few words to encourage her to have a go. no reply. but i thought she had got what she wanted.
from then on, we became depend on each other. we seldom contact. but every time i got into trouble, i would share with her. and it was the same with her. i was not that afraid because i knew she was always there. we never talked about who we were and what we did. the language we shared were just some simple words for feeling. only heart contact.
but that was enough. sometimes i really thanked God to honor me such a loyal friend.
then there came a summer vacation. i changed my telephone number for temporary use. seeing that we seldom contacted, i didn't inform her. i did a part-time job. every day i felt tired. but the job wasn't so bad and i really enjoyed myself. time passed quickly. when i used the old telephone number again, she diappeared. she left me quietly. i sent messages but she wouldn't receive. i didn't know what happened, but there was no denying that i lost this friendship.
i feel empty. when i meet with difficulty, i feel upset. sometimes with a glimmer of hope, i still send my feeling to the dead number to take chances. miracles never happen.
i often think of her. sometimes i think perhaps she is on the road to her dream. if so i want to tell her never lose heart. just go ahead. anyway, it is a real struggle to accomplish one's ambition.
just write this passage to memorialize the lost friendship. forwell, my dear friend, wish you a good journey.
